It’s December 1st, which means we can officially pack away the three Thanksgiving decorations we have and bring out the boxes upon boxes of Christmas décor. Here’s a poem–my own version of The Night Before Christmas–to kick-start the holiday season. I wrote this a couple years ago. Not looking for any analysis. Just enjoy! 🙂
Twas the night before Christmas and all was quite boring,
With no sounds to be heard except for dad’s snoring;
The stockings were carefully hung in a row,
Though they weren’t very straight (mom had had several Merlots);
The children were nestled and snug in their beds
With visions of iPods stuck in their heads;
And late in the night, when all were a’ snoozing,
Some fat guy in red was downstairs perusing.
Little Timmy awoke and crept to the landing
And saw ‘cross the room where the fat man was standing.
The fatty looked up to study the noise,
But didn’t see Tim behind stacks of new toys.
The man opened a sack and stuffed it with gifts.
This thievery, Tim thought, makes me so miffed!”
He snuck into the kitchen with remarkable stealth
Reached for the phone, but was stopped by an elf.
It was a short man in green who pulled him away.
“You ain’t calling no coppers. No how! No way!”
The shorty in green stood about Timmy’s height.
He put a gag in Tim’s mouth and tied him up tight.
“That ought to keep you quiet for now,”
The small man said as he furrowed his brow
Tim wasn’t afraid like he thought he might be
For he saw his dog Muffin behind the TV!
Muffin would save him, for he was quite big,
But Muffin was busy at play with a twig.
Some guard dog, Tim thought, as he sat in the chair,
And just then he heard someone come down the stairs.
It’s Meagan, my sister! Tim thought in his head,
But then noticed his sister looked nearly half-dead.
She staggered and stumbled and made not a peep,
Which suggested to Tim that she was half asleep.
“What’s that girl doing?” said the big, fat, red thief.
“Is she sleepwalking?” he asked in complete disbelief.
Meagan walked past the crooks and even past Timmy,
Who was really quite glad she wasn’t in her chemise.
She walked down the hall and out the back door,
Which wasn’t the first time, it had happened before.
When the crooks had nearly completed their task
Father and mother came downstairs at last.
“What’s going on?” They boomed and they roared.
The crooks were quite startled and ran out the door.
Everything worked out just fine in the end.
If you liked what you read, then read it again.
But what of the family and the two festive robbers?
What about Muffin, who probably slobbers?
Read on a bit to finish the tale.
Did the bad crooks get caught, and could they make bail?
Eventually the police found Tim’s older sister,
Which is probably good, ‘cause he sure would have missed her.
And while the two thieves were eventually found,
Timmy kept hope he’d soon be unbound.
Wish you the merriest of Christmases!