For all the Americans out there, I’m sure you’re well aware that the Thanksgiving holiday is upon us. With that in mind, here’s what I’m thankful for:
- For the mud puddle positioned on the shoulder of a road in just the right spot for the a-hole who cut me off to drive through.
- For the ability to pee standing up.
- For reality TV. Not that I’m a fan, but consider what these reality ‘stars’ would be doing without it? Better to blend them into the crazy world of celebrities than in the world of functioning adults.
- For fools. As a good friend once pointed out, without them you and I would be the fools.
- For modern deodorant.
- For the fact that Facebook, Twitter and all that stuff wasn’t around when I was in junior high school and tore through my shorts in bball camp.
- For karma, specifically for this scenario I witnessed one summer’s day: a guy in a rundown pickup zipped past me to cut the guy in front of me off as he stuck his middle finger out through the sunroof. There was no reason for this, no provocation, he was simply a four-toothed jackass. Well, no sooner did he pass that car when the truck that was now in front of him puffed out a thick cloud of black grossness, which got sucked into his open windows and sunroof and lingered there. All you could see as he abruptly slammed on his breaks was his middle finger up in the air. When the grossness cleared, he was gasping and wheezing.
- For toilet paper. It has the crappiest job on the planet and gets no thanks for its efforts.
- For my two-year-old and six-month-old, who both taught me how cool it is that I can eat an entire meal of pasta without lathering my face, head, shoulders, arms and legs in the stuff.
- For my family. They make me feel at home being a nut job :).